I have managed to make it to January 6th, 2022. It seems like the days are dragging on. As I was leaving the ultrasound and biopsy center I was scheduled for an appointment with a surgeon and an oncologist. WHY??, I asked! We don't know what it is. They told me that the appointments book up and it is better to have an appointment and cancel it than have to wait weeks for one.
Let me digress for a moment. There was a lady in the imaging center that is from my hometown. I did not know her very well. When she saw my images come across she came in the room and spoke to me. This lady proved to be the first angel that was sent to help me. Eventhough she did not know me well, she made me feel like a priority. She knew something was wrong and she did her best to calm me down. She started appointments so I would not be delayed. She managed to do this without alarming me, too much. I will forever be grateful for her because I turned to her several times over the next year.
I received the call on 1/6/22. The nurse who called told me they did not know exactly what kind of cancer I had but that I definitely had some type of BREAST CANCER. She said results from pathology would be rolling in soon and they would contact me. I took this news like I handle most things. I was very stoic and did not show any emotion. I was a mess inside but outside I presented as strong. Two of my co workers were in the room with me to write down information. I would always recommend this because it is hard to remember every piece of this type of news. In the back of my mind I kept saying maybe its wrong. We will wait on final pathology. I called my husband, he was upset....I stayed calm. The two co workers who were with me were shaken and crying. They were nurses and the numbers made more sense to them than me.
On 1/7/22 another call came in. The nurse said "you have invasive ductal carcinoma". It is at least 3 cm and it is multiplying at an 87% rate per day. We are holding out hope that it is not triple negative. Hopefully we will know more on Monday. Ugh, a whole weekend..... 3 whole days, I have to wait. Also, at this point only a 2 people at work, one friend and my husband knew. We didn't want people to know until we knew exactly what we were dealing with.
On Tuesday the 11th we decided to tell our sons and our moms. Of course the news was met with shock and tears. My boys were devasted. I managed to stay strong for them. I then decided to tell my good friends. Lots of tears, concern and questions came about. We didn't have a ton of answers we just knew we had to gear up for a fight. It was this evening that everything inside of me switched.
I no longer wanted pity. I no longer wanted negativity. I no longer wanted people to treat me different. I wanted total positivity around me. I told my friends and family that I have told you the news, I will now rely on you to pass it on. I just couldn't relive the story over and over. It was at that moment that they became my army. They dealt with all the outside noise and negativity and only brought me happiness and positivity. I was still trying to hold on to a shred of my "perfect" life!
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